My islam, part 2

I make certain basic assumptions-- before even approaching the Quran. First, that God does exist in some form. That the universe has both randomness and order, but the order is an order of magnitude greater than the chaos. What I mean by that is that even the most seemingly random events when viewed from a great distance take on a sense of order that is a basic principle that not only orders most human sciences, but also all of creation. When I think about the word, "Islam" I think not only about the literal meaning, submission, but also what could be meant by that, to what are we submitting? to God? to God's will? to God's laws? or to God's creation? and what are we submitting? Is it our bodies? our minds? our intentions? our possessions? The seemingly obvious answer, which is also the most widely accepted is that we are submitting our souls to God, but then that seems almost intuitive, our souls belong to God, so how could they not submit to God. It is our actions that we submit by our intentions. I try to take a more comprehensive view. What is the religion? What is God? If we accept that the Quran or other scriptures contain the word of God, thank it becomes evident that religion, as God describes it, is simply a path to return to hiim. so then, what does it mean to submit to a path? I immediately think of the Buddhist metaphor of an arrowing flying towards a target. It's path is straight and true,, as God describes the path of the righteous, and the arrow travels along it without wavering or bending, the arrow could certainly be said to be 'submitting' to its path. I think also of a river running to the sea. It pushes and pushes against obstacles to find the straightest and easiest path to the sea. It may take millions of years, but eventually, the water will wear down any obstacle and create the ideal path. And over time, the river's flow eventually becomes straighter and truer as it erodes the obstacles. I imagine myself as a stone in the river, submitting to its flow, submitting to the force that moves it irreconcilably to the goal. That movement doesn't only move the stone forward, but also pushes the stone against other stones, sometimes violently, which eventually smooths the stone, making it even smoother and rounder. Just as we are refined , defined and perfected by the obstacles in our own lives, by the people we meet and conflict with. Yet we move inexorably towards spiritual perfection.

I am a Muslim. I know that saying that invites all kinds of preconceived notions for non-Muslims... I can accept that. In my lifetime, Muslims have generally made a negative impression on non-Muslims, and its to be expected that they would be wary of me. The same as if someone comes up to me and says, "I am a Christian" Its not that I have anything against Christians, but if someone comes out and says it, you wonder why... what is the territory they are trying to own... pro-life? born-again? clean living? and is their point to be expository or exclusionary?

So I can imagine non-muslims going thru the same thought process, but the difficult part of this process is that I don't fit into any of their preconceived notions. I am not foreign, I was born and brought up in the United States, and consider myself American. I am not socially conservative, or anti-semitic, or anti-western. So, then, why describe myself as Muslim? what does it mean to me to be muslim?

Well, first and foremost, I believe it. That's right, as incongruous and unlikely as it may seem, I really truly believe that there is a God, and that he is the God described, as Allah, in the Quran. And before we get into the whole proof of God argument, let me just say, I don't rationally believe it, I have faith in it. And my faith is so strong, and so much a part of me, that it is pretty much unshakeable, come what may.

But that's not why I tell non-Muslims that I am a Muslim. In this country no one really cares what you deeply believe, only how you act upon it. And to all external views, i am no different than any other person of my generation. I don't drink, and I don't eat pork, but that's not so unusual either in this day and age.

For me, I like to tell people I am a Muslim simply to counteract their preconceived notions. To say, "you look at me and make certain assumptions, but you don't guess that I am a Muslim"

Now, an even more tricky situation is telling other Muslims that I am a Muslim.